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current | archives | profile | links | rings | cast | reviews | email | notes | host | image | design Impatience Dear Diary I've decided to call it quits with Paul. All of this emotional energy I'm expending, happy when he texts me, disappointed if he doesn't come over, excited if he does, disappointed if its just another bloody goodnight kiss, envious if he's with another girl. All the games and schemes and effort, for what? That's something I've been asking myself, I don't want him - not for keeps. He's had many opportunities to come over and for us to do the bad tango but he hasn't, despite him promising all these things he's going to do to me. The funny thing is, as high as my libido is, it's been overrulled now by my impatience and I seriously can't be bothered. If he came over and asid, okay we'll do it tonight, I'll probably still tell him I can't be bothered anymore. Its been a month. A whole month. I didn't want a relationship, I just wanted sex and since he's not giving it for some reason or another then I'll just call it quits and find someone else to give me what I want. I'm not one for juggling different guys at the same time, I just try one and if it doesn't work out then I move to another. He doesn't know yet and I don't really know how to end it. It's not a relationship, its more of a friendship really. On another note though I'm having a really nice day today. I actually got off my arse and did some exercise. I think later I will do my hair and cook a nice meal for myself to eat while helplessly being addicted to Naruto and watching even more episodes. I've got work tomorrow which will be fun, as I actually get to do something this week. And I think I'm going to start writing aswell. Partly the whole point of James and I splitting was because I need really to start focusing on my own stuff instead of boys. I guess with Paul I thought I would be able to do all of that and have the occasionally pick-me-up to keep me from going crazy. Who knows, maybe it might still happen. If I just tell him how I feel. love
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